As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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