so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
