I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just had sex bonerless
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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