this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
