she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
