I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
