She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
