Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
