he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
