i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
