I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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