So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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