If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
