he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
