i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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