no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
