sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
