My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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