And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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