I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
