Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
