So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just had sex bonerless
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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