he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
