why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
