I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize