My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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