At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
