In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
