you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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