If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
