We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
