just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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