i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
