Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he fucked my hip out of place.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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