those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
