I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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