Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
