we're blogging at a bar
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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