when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
