he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
