I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
