Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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