I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
