i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
