he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
