if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
