you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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