you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize