At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize