I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
