you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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