i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize