Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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