Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize