I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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