everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
