Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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