brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
