If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
