In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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