I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
