Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Randomize
