hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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